Quick Teacher Jokes

And we wonder why Teachers get headaches?

Teacher: George, go to the map and find North America.
George: Here it is!
Teacher: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
Class: George!
Teacher: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Willy: Me!

Substitute Teacher: Are you chewing gum?
Billy: No, I'm Billy Anderson.

Teacher: Alfred, how can one person make so many mistakes in one day?
Alfred: I get up early.

Teacher: Didn't you promise to behave?
Student: Yes, sir.
Teacher: And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't?
Student: Yes, sir, but since I broke my promise, you didn't have to keep yours.

Teacher: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
Tommy: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are.

Harold: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Harold: Good, because I didn't do my homework.

Teacher: Why are you late?
Webster: Because of the sign.
Teacher: What sign?
Webster: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow." That's what I did.

Teacher: Bob, I hope I didn't see you looking at Don's paper.
Bob: I hope you didn't either.

Gary: I don't think I deserve a zero on this test.
Teacher: I agree, but it's the lowest mark I can give you.

Mother: Why did you get such a low mark on that test?
Junior: Because of absence.
Mother: You mean you were absent on the day of the test?
Junior: No, but the kid who sits next to me was.

Sylvia: Dad, can you write in the dark?
Father: I think so. What do you want me to write?
Sylvia: Your name on this report card.

Teacher: Well, at least there's one thing I can say about your son.
Father: What's that?
Teacher: With grades like these, he couldn't be cheating.